


Rose Lalonde User's Manual

by achromaticBibliophile, botgal



Series: Homestuck Unit Manuals [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alcoholism, Depression, Grimdark, Hussie being a troll, OCs - Freeform, Units fanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:22:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22480231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/achromaticBibliophile/pseuds/achromaticBibliophile, https://archiveofourown.org/users/botgal/pseuds/botgal
Summary: Thank you for purchasing your HOMESTUCK UNIT from WHAT PUMPKIN, the company created by ANDREW HUSSIE and has brought about the shenanigan filled, humor inducing webcomic HOMESTUCK, in addition to the various videogames! Since you clearly have eyes and we haven’t made a braille version of this manual, it’s painfully obvious this user’s manual is for ROSE LALONDE, the SEER OF LIGHT, the resident budding psychologist with a love of long soliloquies and snark. With her cunning wit and biting tongue, you might have a couple issues with her, but we recommend giving a gander to this manual, so you can learn how best to coexist with your UNIT and how best to deal with this flighty broad.
Series: Homestuck Unit Manuals [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1610812
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	Rose Lalonde User's Manual

**Rose Lalonde User’s Manual**

Thank you for purchasing your HOMESTUCK UNIT from WHAT PUMPKIN, the company created by ANDREW HUSSIE and has brought about the shenanigan filled, humor inducing webcomic HOMESTUCK, in addition to the various videogames! Since you clearly have eyes and we haven’t made a braille version of this manual, it’s painfully obvious this user’s manual is for ROSE LALONDE, the SEER OF LIGHT, the resident budding psychologist with a love of long soliloquies and snark. With her cunning wit and biting tongue, you might have a couple issues with her, but we recommend giving a gander to this manual, so you can learn how best to coexist with your UNIT and how best to deal with this flighty broad. 

**Legal Asscovering Agenda {Screw my original idea for a name, Emma your comment last time was too good to pass up. So go ahead and copy and paste that shit. Editing again? Nope, no can do. Not today, not ever. According to who? According to the Huss}**

So, just to lay down the ground rules and answer any moral/ethical questions one might have, all HOMESTUCK UNITS are homegrown, ecto-biology created individuals all capable of rational thought, expression of self and existence, and personality. No humans, animals, insects, plants, aliens, etc. were harmed in the making of these individuals and no mindscrewing of innocent individuals like a cheap sci-fi series occurred either. Not only do our units look like their comic counterparts, but they think and act like them as well! How we achieved this is waaay too technical and complex and frankly boring to describe so I’m just gonna say this: We did it, there was green slime involved, and now we have these guys. Look you can prostrate in front of us and weep tears of joy later, right now I have a manual to monologue while the fresh meat-I mean newest employee {I can see you rolling your eyes Emma} faithfully transcribes my words for your reading pleasure.  
This however doesn’t mean that your unit might not have a negative reaction to learning that they were created with the sole purpose of replicating their fictional persona from a webcomic {Last time we tried to explain the situation to a prototype...eh, that’s not important and nobody died so it’s fine. Yes Emma, I know our lab got wrecked and you were terrified, so were half of the other guys}. So when the time comes to have the sit down to explain the birds, bees, and ecto-biology machines to them, be patient, kind, and preferably in a situation where physical harm isn’t a concern.   
So yeah, back to the moral stuff so our lawyers are happy with us. While a majority of our beloved cast are around the 13 YEAR OLD marker, {or 6 SWEEPS OLD in the case of the TROLLS}, WP has taken the liberty to adjust the UNITS ages to a more appropriate and less creepy 21 years {10 SWEEPS}. This is in part due to unfortunate implications and situations that may arise with users interacting with our units, who would have been underaged individuals. Also in part because it is really sketchy when you unbox a literal teenager from our shipping. It’s weird enough doing it to an adult, a kid makes it even more squiwcky. Don’t fret and wail at the thought of your problematic fav no longer being exactly how you envisioned them (they probably don’t as they are anyway), their personalities are unchanged and this age change has been done with both you and the unit’s favor in mind. It also allows the unit to have more freedom in their new life with you, such as driving a car, getting a job, going to Nickel Shot Night, ect. Oh yeah, your UNIT is totally capable of getting a job {Keeping it is another story…} if they so desire and can greatly assist you in the running of your household, but we nor you run slave labor so don’t be an ass. We’ll list out some possibilities for each in case you and your new chum decide to flip through the classifieds or troll around some sites one day.   
And since every single one of those damn shippers want to know, yes your UNIT has fully anatomical parts associated with their species and gender and NO we here at WP are not going to describe the intricacies of TROLL genitalia for you. What’s in their pants is their own business {unless they want to show you}. The normal rules of society still apply: no non-con touching, no groping, and no otherwise inappropriate touching or actions without their explicit consent. {Good luck trying to use coercion on any of them anyway, you HAVE read the webcomic right? These guys can get violent fast and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself}. However, romance waits for neither man nor troll and our UNITS are fully capable of developing feelings for others, whether it’s another UNIT, the people around them, and even you. {Another reason for the age up too}. They can be romanced if you so desire but we recommend that you wait on this until they learn the whole “You’re fictional constructs from a webcomic given life, blah blah blah” since that can be a breach of trust and lead to relationship issues galore {Jeez Emma this is getting boring can’t we skip to the good stuff? I’m sure the readers are thinking the same thing}.  
Good news folks, we’re just about done with all this legal asscovering according to Emma {and for once those were her words not mine!} and we’ll be right on the road shortly! Just remember:  
We here at WHAT PUMPKIN are not responsible for any BLOODSHED, MAIMING, MUTILATION, SICK FIRES, CHAOS, and/or SHENANIGANS that may occur with the purchase of our products! As the user of our amazing service, you’re responsible for the CARE, WELLBEING, and SAFETY of your UNIT and any failure to properly tend to them will lead to UNFORTUNATE IMPLICATIONS and even REMOVAL of your UNIT. Any and all DAMAGE that may occur to you, your property, and others will likewise be attributed to you. Now, onto the good shit! Take it away Emma!

 **Unit Information**  
Unit Name: Rose Lalonde {Again, why do I have to include this?}  
Additionally Answers To: Unless your name is DAVE STRIDER doing brotherly ribbing, you’re not gonna get away with calling her a nickname without getting a knitting needle to the eye. So avoid using Rosie-Posey, Rosebud, ect. Will accept a simple Lalonde and may warm up to nicknames should you get closer, but for your own safety never use FLIGHTY BROAD.  
Species: Human {We only have the kids line out anyway, this is just ridiculous.}  
Classpect: Seer of Light {You want these details? Flip ahead to the Classpect section.}  
Age: 21  
Date of Birth: December 4th, 1995  
Pesterchum Handle:  tentacleTherapist [TT] 

**Your Unit comes with the following**  
One set of casual clothes {Gotta have that classic Rose look, with the once adorable Squiddle character defaced into a malevolent horrorterror}  
One hairband  
One Velvet Squiddleknit Dress {There was a serious debate at HQ about which one of the Lalonde looks was going to be included, there was so much arguing and brawling. Noses were broken, hair was pulled, and a single person stood over the prone forms of those defeated. I really didn’t expect you to be so vicious Emma, I’m honestly impressed.}  
One set of God Tier PJs: Seer of Light edition  
One Hubtop {Complete with a hand knitted purple cozy. Never have to worry about battery power again!}  
One purple phone  
A pair of knitting needles {For both actual knitting and stabbing should the need arise}  
One set of Thorns of Oglogoth   
One copy of Grimoire for Summoning the Zoologically Dubious {We at WHAT PUMPKIN do not recommend reading any of these FORBIDDEN NAMES aloud, for fear of summoning one of these fake-ass tentacled monstrosities. Plus you’re probably going to horribly butcher the pronunciation.}  
One journal {You’ll never see it but it’s there}  
One velvet purple cushion   
One bag with yarn of various colors {We’re giving a bit of a freebee here but be care}  
One violin, complete with instrument, bow, and rosin

 **Unit’s Settings**  
Snarky (Default)  
Therapist   
Creative/Bookworm  
Heroic  
Grimdark (Locked)  
Drunk (Locked)  
Trickster (Locked)

With your Rose unit, welcome to SNARKY City. With her biting wit and tongue, she can easily pinpoint out your flaws as well as provide hindsight to your various misadventures and screwups. If you’re into a good battle of wit and cunning, then get ready to enjoy endless hours of you two criticizing various topics, from popular books and modern media, to more obscure knowledge and philosophy. If you aren’t into that thing, why the heck would you order a Rose unit? **WARNING:** If Rose hurts your feelings too much, that’s all on you, but don’t take it to harsh, she enjoys teasing and nitpicking her friends, so it can mean she’s bonding well with you. But she does this with her enemies too, so...It’s on you to figure out the inner workings and interactions with this snarky broad.   
THERAPIST mode is kinda self explanatory. Rose has always had an interest in psychology, enough to have come up with psychological analyses for all her friends. However, being stuck on a meteor for three years with limited research on the subject has made her a little rusty. That being said, she can easily understand and help to explain aspects of your personality and, should you outfit her with some heavy tombs of knowledge {or just open the Wikipedia page on the Internet}, she’ll become a blooming therapist in no time! Just be careful if you don’t wanna play Hannibal Lecter-esq games with her or are a tender hearted person who can’t take criticism. **WARNING:** Unless she gets an actual degree, be warned that she is not an actual professional therapist and if you are in the market for one, do not expect her to immediately solve your problems. {Girl has problem solving her own at times, she’s not a miracle worker.}  
CREATIVE/BOOKWORM go hand in hand with this bibliophile. Rose has a tendency to devour any and all literature she comes across, more so if it’s something that she finds particularly fascinating. Her minor flash-stepping abilities also allow her to easily snatch a book from your hands, despite the distance, before absconding with the stolen book. Its easy enough to bring this side of her out, just take her to the local library or bookstore and let her run loose like a wild horse on the prairie. **WARNING:** For the sake of your wallet, try sticking to the library.   
As of her CREATIVE side, Rose is a budding author and can easily fill pages with her purple prose {And I mean purple in both senses of the word. Seriously, she’s got a large enough vocabulary you wonder if MOM was using a thesaurus to teach her the alphabet and hones her purple ink pens accordingly.} However, Rose is highly secretive about what she’s working on, whether its a personal topic or just something to do with wizards, so you’ll only be able to read it should she allow you to. {Or you sneak a peak, which we do NOT recommend. You’d definitely get a blast of BLACK MAGIKS for your sneaky ways.} It’s a sure sign of trust and friendship should she allow you a glimpse into her written world. Rose is also interested in knitting and can play the violin, so expect some mournful melodies {hopefully at times when it’s appropriate, like at a funeral or at least not at night and everyone is trying to sleep} and being gifted some cozy accessories or a stuffed animal. **WARNING:** Rose is a bit fickle with criticism, so be careful on the things you want to comment on, especially if you make an innocent remark on the profuse use of wizards and magics. It’s kinda a sore subject.  
HEROIC mode is a bit tricky to activate, not that she doesn’t consider herself a heroic figure, but that it takes a good deal of caring for her to push herself into danger. She will always provide a thoughtful voice and good caution, but should you befriend her, Rose is willing and capable of jumping into the fray to assist you. **WARNING:** HEROIC and JUST DEATHS can cause permanent death of your UNIT {Unless you have a JANE CROCKER or a future LIFE PLAYER to undo the fickle hand fate has dealt}, so we recommend keeping her out of harm’s way. We here at WP will receive an alert should your UNIT be damaged enough to cause a death and will perform a follow-up check-in to determine who/what was at fault.  
GRIMDARK has Good Reason to be a locked mode for Rose. When she dabbles too far into the tentacle-y knowledge of the HORRORTERRORS or possibly suffers an emotional breakdown, she becomes far more aggressive, wickedly inclined, and loses her ability to communicate on a level that is understandable for mortal ears. It’s incredibly difficult to release Rose from this mode, often times only death can truly free her but we advise avoiding this. A JOHN EGBERT UNIT may be able to help ground Rose form the darker aspects of this situation. **WARNING:** Rose gets crazy aggressive when she goes GRIMDARK, so it might be advisable to go around on tiptoes until she’s able to break free from the suction-cup grip of those malevolent, Lovecraftian rip-offs {Yes Emma I KNOW I’m the one who made those rip-offs up, don’t you have a manual to be transcribing for me?} WP recommends you contact us as soon as she enters this mode, we get an alert anyway but still, and we’ll try to help her return to her good old snarky, comprehensible self.  
DRUNK is self-explanatory. Rose drinks, Rose gets drunk, shenanigans ensue. When tipsy, she can be a bit loose lipped and flirtatious, particularly if a KANAYA MARYAM UNIT is around {Once we get around to working on the Alpha Trolls release...} Once she sobers up, she’ll express regret and dismay, though that could also be part of her hangover talking. **WARNING:** While now legally allowed to, it’s not really recommended you let Rose drink, as she has bad memories of booze in regards to her MOM and her previous experiences on the meteor {Even with VRISKA SERKET around to keep her from hitting the bottle too hard. Huh, what was that Emma? Oh right, that memo from Luis mentioned that Problem. Eh, we’ll just throw that in with the Troubleshooting section}. She’s working on sobriety so we encourage you to encourage her! While you don’t have to pour out your own liquor, it’s recommended that you be respectful about the subject and don’t be a jerk. {Emma and I both agree it costs you $0 to stay in your own lane and not encourage self-destructive tendencies or be rude to those dealing with addictions.}  
 **WARNING:** TRICKSTER mode is locked for a good reason, cause while she hasn’t canonically hit that sugar rush you can bet your buttons it will be as disastrous as all the other kids. Keep your eyes and ears peeled for any ominous, gleeful giggling and far too wide smiles and be ready to abscond, it’s as contagious as mono and you’ll probably end up waking in a pile of destruction and sugar with a headache and mammoth regrets. Rose is likely to be just as cranky and miserable once she crashes, so break out the headache pills and plan on a day of rehabilitation.  
{We have a lot more WARNING labels with Rose compared to other UNITS for a reason folks!}

 **Classpect**  
Really hoping you understand this term cause if you don’t I’m weeping at the fact a non-HOMESTUCK fan would be ordering a Homestuck product. Unless it’s a HOMESTUCK fan ordering a gag gift for a friend, which I can sort of see, but not the smartest present to give someone, since it’s an actual person in that box. That said, a Classpect is a combination of a class and aspect, respectively a roll/title someone is given that challenges their growth and the aspect is an element/nature that often relates to their personality {Want more info? Go. Read. HOMESTUCK. Or even our EXTENDED ZODIAC QUIZ. I can't keep holding your hand as you weander through the trenches of this fandom, we have a wiki already.}   
As earlier stated, Rose’s Classpect Title is the SEER OF LIGHT. A Seer is basically self explanatory to anyone with a basic interest in mythology or owns a dictionary. But for those too clueless or too lazy to crack open a book or even Google it, a Seer {at least in Homestuck canon} is someone who is capable of understanding their aspect or understanding through their aspect and often times have visions of things {whether past, present, or future} concerning their respective aspect. Light is all about knowledge, fortune, chance, and light {duh}, driving those connected to it towards research and trying to understand, although their lack of concern for following rules or conventions can be a hinderance. So this combination means that Rose has a deep understanding of knowledge and luck, though this does not mean her predictions are airtight. She can use the knowledge that she gains from visions to her advantage to influence a scenario but its not a guarantee she’ll come out on top or she has all the information {See the Green Sun situation for reference. Yes Emma, she wasn’t a fully realized Seer of Light and was being manipulated by a pint sized puppet of unfathomable power at the time but it still counts.} Try not to abuse her powers for lottery winnings. 

**Potential Jobs**  
Rose’s intelligence and workaholic tendencies mean that, while she may have tunnel vision and forget about personal care, make her a valued researcher and employee! As such, we’ve listed a couple of occupations WP believe would be appropriate for your UNIT! They include:   
_Librarian_  
Rose’s love for literature means she’d be a great fit at your local library branch, though given her somewhat standoffish nature she can be a bit abrasive with patrons as well as her messy habits perhaps affecting the old Dewey Decimal System.  
 _Therapist_  
As previously stated in the Setting’s section, Rose is not yet a certified psychologist or therapist, but she’s well on the way to analyze people and providing constructive criticism and encouragement. If you sign her up for actual classes, we guarantee she’ll be graduating top of the class in four years {Maximum, honestly it wouldn’t surprise me if she graduated with honors hella early} and be setting up her own practice!  
 _Author_  
Rose is an extremely talented and creative person, not only writing a comprehensive, if purple prose filled, FAQ for SBURB but one Scratched version of herself went on to write a wildly popular book series, so it’s a shoe-in Rose could become a best-selling author. Provided she’s willing to share her work with either a publisher or the public. This takes time of course, from storyboarding the plot, developing characters, and doing hefty revisions and editing, not to mention encouraging Rose to share her writings with others. You should be swimming with royalties in no time.   
_Violinist_  
With her provided violin and meticulous nature, Rose has the potential to become a paid musician, performing with orchestras should she manage to impress them with her skills. This may be harder as most professionals are often required to attend hoity-toity, uber expensive musical programs and schools, but she’s got the talent and guption for it!

 **Unlocking Your Unit**  
You’ll have to proceed with caution when you’re trying to wake up the sleeping briar Rose from her cardboard box. You’re more than liable to get a scatting retort and even a jab from knitting needles if you wheedle her too much, so we have some options on how to best activate her.  
 **Option 1**  
First off, there’s the very forward, logical approach: Politely knock on the side of the box and ask Rose if she wouldn’t mind coming out and that you’d like to meet her. While pretty boring an option, Rose is level headed enough to possibly accept this and will usually emerge after a snarky response. However, this is such a vanilla choice WP really recommends you do something more entertaining {Fine, I think it’s a vanilla choice, Emma is giving me that annoyed look again. And you wonder why everyone here calls you the judgemental jerk, Ems...Okay so it’s just me when you’re doing this, fine. Still proves my point.}  
 **Option 2**  
Loudly announce your wide, impressive collection of books you’d love to share, if only someone were around to critique them with you. Faster than a bullet train, Rose will be flash stepping outta that box and into the room. Though its highly advisable to actually have at least two bookcases full of literature before you do this option, as Rose will be quite annoyed with you should it be prove you lied. Preferably books focused on gothic horror, psychology, Otherwise, after a quick introduction, Rose will happily settle down with a stack of your most intriguing titles and spend the next few hours chipping away at them before starting a debate with you on them. Hope you like analytically breaking down the various themes and characters dude!  
 **Option 3**  
This only applies if you already have a HOMESTUCK UNIT, but we also recommend sending one of her close friends, whether it be JOHN EGBERT, DAVE STRIDER, or JADE HARLEY to do the whakey-whakey. These three are the most likely folks who will be able to get her up without physical harm or too much snark, though she can be quite irritable when woken up early.

 **Relationships with Other Units**  
Just like anybody, Rose has several close friendships and relationships, and we’ve helpfully outlined some of the more important ones, as well as a few other folks that we have available. {How with the newly updated categories between HUMANS and TROLLS! We'll be periodically updating the **Relationships** as we progress with each new UNIT released.}

 _Humans_  
 **John Egbert**  
One member of Rose’s main friend group, John is a loveable goofball and was Rose’s client player during SBURB. They banter and have some arguments at times, but deep down these two care for one another deeply and are quite playful with one another. She even turned a much beloved plush present from her childhood {Originally belonging to John himself before he re-gifted the oil stained bunny to a baby Rose before she went on her meteor journey} into a present for him, updating it in her own style with the yarn and needles he sent for her own birthday, showing how much she cares. Rose is so well-tuned to John’s antics she can predict them from just a few words of text without seeing him and might be useful in toning down his prankster tendencies if they get too wild. John in return can assist in calming Rose down from a GRIMDARK stuck setting and can provide emotion assistance as well, as they both share the loss of a parent to the same dog-clown-squid-bird-hybrid {And how ELSE do you expect me to describe JACK NOIR, Emma? Also, as ridiculous as that combo sounds, it’s way more terrifying in context and I suggest you look it up if you’re scoffing at the idea.} Despite being separated three years in canon, their friendship is as strong as ever.  
 **Dave Strider**  
Rose’s ecto-bio bro and resident mix-master, Dave regularly banters and snarks with Rose, who’s well used to it at this point and enjoys psycho-analyzing his comments and turning them back on him. Still, despite this sibling rivalry, these two will support one another through thick and thin. In fact, their relationship is a universal constant, so you can expect a quite moving, if not sarcasm laced, reunion between the two.   
**Jade Harley**  
The final member of the BETA KIDS squad, Jade is another good chum of Rose’s and a delight to be around. Rose’s relationship with Jade is quite similar to hers with John, as they enjoy chatting together with some mild teasing in a good natured way. They’ve had a three year separation, so it’s possible they need to reconnect after not talking for so long, but rest assured these two will be thick as thieves, or a witch and a seer, soon enough.   
**Jane Crocker**  
There’s been little canon interaction between Rose and Jane, but rest assured we think these two gals have the potential to get along just well. Given their interests into psychoanalysis and detective work respectively, these two can be a crushing and terrifying combination if they went into business together. Pop in any old psychological mystery movie to get the ball rolling and you’re sure to see these two gals getting chummy in no time.   
**Jake English**  
Much like the rest of the ALPHA KIDS gang, Rose hasn’t had much personal interaction with Jake. Still, we at WP are hopeful that they’d get along swell, although Rose’s snarky comments may not be helpful towards Jake’s low self esteem and you may need to have a talk with her if he ends up crying. Still, Rose will most likely form a bond similar to the ones she has with John and Jade, as Jake has a very similar and charming personality.   
**Roxy Lalonde**  
Now here’s where it gets awkward folks! Roxy is the Scratched version of Rose’s MOM as well as her ecto-biology mother. While Rose has some difficulty with her MOM, she and Roxy bond very quickly due to their mutual love of wizards and magic {No matter how much Rose will deny it} as well as literature. They also have had similar experience with alcohol and are thus very good at hashing things out with one another. Both are willing to risk their lives in order to assist the other, so you have to step in if things get dicey when they’re both involved.   
**Dirk Strider**  
Dirk is Rose’s other ecto-biological parent...And that’s pretty much it? Jeez, the comic can’t go into detail about everyone’s relationships and friendships people! There’s a PLOT! Also, isn’t that what fanfiction is for? {Right, right Emma.} Well anyway, while Dirk hasn’t had a lot of contact with Rose in canon, it’s still expected they’d get along decently. They both are scarily smart people who try to understand those around them and both possess unusual sets of humor. 

_Trolls  
_ **Karkat Vantas**  
Rose has had very limited contact with Karkat prior to meeting him at the start of a three year journey on a meteor rocketing through space, but were pleased to say that they’ve got a good little framework for building a stronger relationship. Rose’s interest in both literature and understanding new topics means that she’s fascinated by troll romance and it’s written works and given Karkat’s passion for it as well, it’s led to plenty of discussions between them especially with Rose probing for ideas on how best to woo KANAYA MARYAM {At least we theorize that’s what could have gone down on the meteor in the RETCON. GAMEOVER, not so much.} Rose is always interested in learning new things and will probably try to rope Karkat into an impromptu therapist probing session, much to his discomfort. Still, she’ll know his limits and won’t push him too far {Unless the subject of either his current relationships or DAVE STRIDER comes up. All bets off there.} Still, we’re confident that they’ll become great gossip buddies and fast friends, as long as she doesn’t freak him out too much with her prying ways or passion for the zoologically dubious. Expect them to be sitting around discussing book topics and plot, or sharing the hot beverage of their choice and sharing the hottest gossip going around the house and neighborhood.

{We at What Pumpkin would like to add that, should future lines of units be developed and make it to the market, we will send an updated version of the Relationships with Other Units sections to further outline their bonds if they are individuals your units have interacted with. If they haven’t, well then you’re screwed and are going to have to watch how that weird shit plays out.}

 **Troubleshooting**  
We've got a whole list of possible problems you may encounter with your Rose and our suggestions on how to deal with them. We can't guarantee everything is on the list, but it should give you some options. {Again, we at WHAT PUMPKIN are not liable to whatever shenanigans and chaos that could befall you and your unit.}  
 **My ROSE UNIT is acting weird, raiding my booze stash even when I lock it up and is constantly in DRUNK mode. What gives?**  
Okay so, recent problem we’ve noticed with most of our current UNITS, save for JOHN EGBERT and ROXY LALONDE, is the fact that they may occasionally unlock memories from the GAMEOVER TIMELINE {Basically a timeline where everyone but John and Roxy died in and was overwritten with John’s powers from a mysterious house artifact. No follow up questions, go read the webcomic or the wiki, no more free handouts}. While we have no idea why this is occuring, its possible that certain events and actions may serve as a trigger for the UNITS to unlock these memories and they may have an existential crisis or merging of personalities as a result. The fact Rose is a SEER OF LIGHT means she’s more likely to recall these memories compared to other UNITS. As such, she could be acting out with dealing with the fact of her alternate timeline JUST DEATH and the many regrets she had in her dying moments, along with how said personality meld has occurred. Promptly refuse to acquire further alcohol and call us at WP for further information {We’ll figure it out eventually, we got Luis on this, and at the least can walk you through a hard reboot to get her back to her normal settings.} Though it could also be her dealing with grief and struggling with sobriety, so also be a supporting friend and offer your assistance. Maybe broach the subject of an AA meeting and counseling if you don’t have a ROXY LALONDE handy. We here at WP understand addiction is a hard thing to cope with and assistance should be encouraged and provided.   
**Rose’s skin went super grey and she’s surrounded by dark energy, spewing words and sounds in a language beyond my mortal comprehension. So the question is obvious...How do I get her to clean up her shit? Seriously I can’t walk its everywhere.**  
Whelp, other than a clear case of Rose going GRIMDARK {See Settings for further details} and suggesting you contact us at WP or have a JOHN EGBERT UNIT help out if you have one handy, there’s really nothing we can do to assist you in getting her to tidy up. Rose has a disorganized way of having her stuff, so you better learn to live with it.   
**Will owning a Rose Unit improve my chances of getting a Hogwarts acceptance letter?**  
Yeah sure, have fun multiplying zero by whatever number value she gives you. Magic and luck are fake as shit, remember? {Okay, now do the winky face Emma...What do you mean you won’t?!}

Just a reminder to those who need to contact us, you can reach the WHAT PUMPKIN Troubleshooter Extraordinaire Luis at XXX-XXX-0413. Neither rain nor sleet nor lack of sleep and suffering from a coffee overload will stop this dude from answering any vital questions you may have!

 **Final Words**  
It’s really heartwarming for us at WP {Especially me cause these are all my brain babies} that so many people have been touched by the wacky characters of HOMESTUCK and enjoy them all. So our gift to you loyal readers and fans is this very UNIT series, made with the blood, sweat, and tears of our local science dude and ecto-biological material required for their creation. Rose is a great gal behind her mask of snark and cynicism and once you put that deposit of friendship down, you’re gonna reap the reward when it comes time to cash in on it. Get ready for evenings of reading, playful debates and teasing, and perhaps dabbling into the zoologically dubious side of life. 

**Author's Note:**

> Yet another fic done and its officially a series! Hopefully I'll be able to do weekly updates, schedule permitting. Thanks to everyone who has shown interest in the first unit fic and I hope this one is just as pleasing! Thank you again to botgal for helping me with editing and suggestions. Kudos and comments are appreciated.


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